10 things that are very, very devastating (concurrently).

10) Old Nickelodeon game shows. I can’t tell you how many times I could have won legend of the hidden temple or took home just a little piece of the crag. But it was a) in florida and b) NEVER looking for contestants. I always felt like they paid kid actors to come on the show because no one, I mean no one, I ever met had made it anywhere near getting close to getting on the show.
9) Sarah Palin. Ugh. I know what you’re thinking. But I really have to go there. She is anti-feminist and homophobic and she’s GORGEOUS. It really is a waste, isn’t it? Such a stupid, good looking woman. I was half-expecting this Jermaine Greer predecessor, ready to put McClain in his place. Unfortunately, that's not the case. But good for her for being that attractive at her age.
8) Choke being made into a movie. Sam Rockwell? Come on. Just watch the trailer: . Chuck Palahnuik should be fucking pissed.
7) Zach Braff. If you saw Garden State and loved it (and mostly because of Mr. Braff), I’ll save you the heartbreak and tell you not to watch the show “Punk’d.” To let you know, briefly, as to what happened Asston Kutcher thought would be really great to pay some actor kid to spray paint a car that looked like Zach Braff’s and then when Zach returned to his “car”, pretend that he didn’t do anything. When Zach actually did come out, all he did was cuss at this little boy and say things like, “do you know who I am?!” It was then I realized that Zach Braff will never be the emotionally stunted boy who wanted to start feeling everything and thought that the shins were great. He will never be as funny or sweet or jaded with all the money and women he accumulates. He most definitely will never ever be the boy who just wants to feel love. All of this recognized in this ridiculous three minute gag. Thanks Asstan for ruining my life.
6) My bike. My bike would be really cool for an eight year old. I feel like with my bike I have to peddle a whole lot harder than everybody else therefore making me breathe hard and sweat and look more out of shape than I actually am. Now I live like… two seconds away from school and could easily—very easily—ride my bike to school but I refuse to. I am out of shape, and this I embrace, but I would rather run to school in a sports bra and booty shorts than be forced to push my bike up the hill that is my school because my bike can’t take the uphill velocity.
5) Sunday nights. I live in a town where every night is a party, Monday= Karaoke and beer pong, Tuesday=Two for one drinks, $1 tacos, Wednesday=pint night, Thurs-Sat=freakin weekend ignition remix. Except for Sunday. Sunday means you can go to a bar called Mothers and drink (or on a Sunday, drinking is called 'alcoholism' or 'blasphemy') and watch old, weathered male and females sing melodramatic 80s songs while trying to recapture some vague sense of youth by being out on the town passed 11’o clock. Sunday nights are extremely...devastating. sigh.
onto number 4)New Cartoons. what happened to ren and stimpy? rocko's modern life? rugrats? justice league? even blue's clues was a gem to the generation following us. but now, there are creepy interactive multi-lingual shows like Dora the Explora or Go! Diego! go!(funny, ironical title isn't it?). and let's start out by saying that i am not in opposition to integration (in fact, i'm all about integration ) I am in opposition to the feeling that need to push education into children as early as possible. american kid cartoons force feed education as vigorously as we force feed food into an anorexic. tell me this, what is education without social skills? without common sense? You're right. a serial killer.
3)Snapple Facts. (collaboration with sydney hollingsworth) i, like my fellow family friends and acquaintances, all trusted the little nugget of information provided on the back of those lids. Then snapple broke our hopes and dreams.
2)Sk8ter Bois. why are you boys so ridiculously sexy and pretty much the coolest boys in the entire world? date me. all of you.
And finally. The most devastating of the bunch…
1) The cancellation of Veronica Mars. If you’re questioning this last statement, then you have quite obviously not watched the show and do not understand brilliance when it is laid out right in front of you. Veronica Mars was a collage of mystery, suspense, romance, and comedy. Kristen Bell was so charming and cute and smart and all of this totally won me over which is extremely hard to do, for a girl, leading me to reconsider my sexuality for a good three weeks. Then there was Logan Echolls, played by Jason Dohring, the sexiest, rich, bad boy antagonist and how his relationship with Veronica always kept the audience on their edge of their beige corduroy couches. Plus that bald guy from Just Shoot Me was on it and he was hilarious. Veronica, are you going to stay with Fizz or go back to Logan? Logan forever! Who is going to win sheriff, Keith or
the other guy? Will Wallace ever find true love? Is Rob Thomas the actual matchbox 20 rob thomas or like 'i am a man and my happens to be rob thomas identical to the singer of the band matchbox twenty'?

i am in perpetual limbo with veronica mars. they should have known it was going to be canceled! they should have tied the ties. they should have sent fiz away and let logan and veronica be together like they were supposed to be.

i hate television.

10thingsihateaboutchelseabrown