chat forums ("what really grinds my gears"--family guy)

so at one of the many jobs i have, i am supposed to sit at a small black desk next to computer technicians and answer inane phone calls concerning all sorts of electronics. Since my store is in a relatively rural location, it is not one of the most 'happenin' stores soo... a good portion of this job entails trying to find ways to avoid complete and utter boredom. One of the ways I alleviate this is to read a link on our Employee Login called "Watercooler". "Watercooler" is just a new fan-dangled way to say a chat forum for the whole company, worldwide. In "Watercooler", people discuss matters like "Increase Your Revenue!" or "Customer CARE--are you doing it right?". What I do in these forums is I read people's responses and give them negative or positive ratings according to the criterion "if I met them in real life, would i like them?" or if they automatically sound too into their job, I give them a negative rating to bring them off their corporate high horse. My favorite threads are "Unwanted Phone Calls: Rants and Horror Stories" and "Worst Movies Ever". I don't usually post but I happened to post in the "Worst Movies Ever" thread because after six pages, no one even mentioned "I Know Who Killed Me" (even though I love Lindsay Lohan to no end). Today I wanted to check out if anyone had replied to my comment because although lacking in originality or wit, it was a pretty great "worst movie" choice. After a couple of pages, I noticed people kept saying "Superbad" as a bad movie choice and I was contemplating giving them a negative rating or not. But one comment, without hesitation, got a negative comment from me. In the comment, the girl--Samantha--said, "And, I may be the only person, but I did not enjoy Superbad, it represents everything I dislike about my generation."

For me, for when someone can make a heavy implication like "this is what is wrong with my generation" they should be following that sentence with some well-prepared, valid arguments as to exactly why it is such. A comment like this pisses me off because 1)comments implying a societal problem without explanation usually means she is generalizing an idea to look more knowledgeable and 2)superbad is totally hilarious and is not made for people, like herself, who need media to tell her what exactly is substantially funny (read also: the same people who fund movies like “Epic Movie” or “Date Movie”) instead of having the intelligence to understand that normalcy IS funny .

Well, Samantha, what is YOUR generation’s problem? Heck, why not call it OUR generation because it is mine as well. Samantha, what is OUR generation’s problem? Is it that boys in OUR generation talk about getting laid and accessing alcohol whilst dealing with the awkwardness that comes with adolescence in high school? Is it that women were objectified in degrading yet humorous terms throughout the movie setting us back from those hundred years of suffrage fighting and independence? Or is it that you so closely identified with the kids in this movie that you projected against it in order to make yourself feel like less of an ignoramus? Hit a nerve, did i.

Well, Samantha, let me tell you what is wrong with OUR generation. What’s wrong with OUR generation, Dear Samantha, is us. Instead of fighting immediate issues like health care or racism (which is still heavily prevalent in our society), we find our rebellion in white powders and medication drugs and binge drinking for no other reason but to “get fucked up.” And you, Samantha darling, are the worst kind. You are a hypocrite, supposedly hating the young adult world you so comfortably live in, meanwhile blogging on a CORPORATE chat forum clearly out stepping your job description and obviously, your range of knowledge, without actually taking action or giving any reason as to why you dislike OUR generation SOO much. What is wrong with OUR generation, Samantha, is you and people like you who complain about everything that is “wrong” and “unfair” and something you don't "like" but don't actually DO anything. You all who are not willing to change your lifestyles to alleviate whatever problem you have--rather you just sit there like a secret internet fatty, blogging for attention on a chat forum by complaining. You are a tool, Samantha, and next time the forum asks you a simple question like what kind of cereal you like to eat on Sundays or whatever—you better just stick to some simple answer instead of try to look hip and alternative by throwing in some pseudo intellectual one-liner.

If you can’t tell, it was a really slow day at work. I almost posted this back but in all honesty, she’s not even worth it. Plus, I can’t even imagine how many negative ratings I would get and then I would never be able to post a simple answer again—something I look forward to doing on rare occasions. Whatever.

negative nan-sea brown.

edit. 9/9/08 11:04am "because I'm still not over it"
[10:57] wavesmileREPEAT: i hate when people generalize a generation. especially ours.
[10:59] wavesmileREPEAT: we have a lot to live up to and what we don't need is someone our age being negative about us
[10:59] wavesmileREPEAT: then that means there is no room for change
[10:59] wavesmileREPEAT: then that means that we don't believe in ourselves
[10:59] wavesmileREPEAT: and I think that's more bleak than the 90 mins that was superbad

love in the time of chlamydia.

my mom thinks i have high standards.

in life, generally, but more specifically for my men. por ejemplo, we were just talking about Guy A who happened to manufacture some interest in me and I made some remark that he was a Philosophy major or something... and she said--i quote--"You really have no room to talk considering you're a Theatre major... in an agriculture and engineering school." Thank you, mother.

I, of course, respond to this to put her in her place. it's not that i am not smart or talented enough to do any other major, it's the fact that i chose to do theatre--not that it was the only thing i am eligible to do. Guy A didn't have a choice. He was an idiot. He wanted to go to a school with blonde, rich, food-deprived babymakers and the only way he could get in would be to take an obscure major. hence... philosophy.

I don't think I have high standards. I think i have... standards. Even sub-par standards. I don't want an idiot.

At my work there are a plethora of idiots. A cornucopia of morons. and most of the time these people are just over the phone. I've decided that it takes a real tool to screw up a 2 minute phone conversation. I guess that's what you get for being one of the only girls working in an electronic store. a normal day on the phone goes as follows:

me: welcome to ____, how can I help you?
boy: yeah, can you give me the electronics department?
me: (long pause)yes.
boy: is this the electronics department?
me: (shorter pause)yes.
boy: oh, good. would you guys return my xbox360?
me: What's wrong with it?
boy: Well, I took it apart and now it doesn't work.
me: (long pause again)no.
then i usually hang up.
(Another thing that is totally misleading about boys over the phone because GUARANTEED if a guy sounds like a babe on the phone, he is NOT cute in person. you try it. Guarantee.)

someone once said that you attract the kind of person that you are. besides using one of the most inane self-motivational quotes of all time, that person (who shall remain nameless) was also totally full of shit.

somehow, i always end up dating or nearly dating someone who is 1) unemployed, 2) not in school or 3) a wake-and-baker (and i don't mean of the foodnetwork kind). as you may or may not know, i don't fit into any of those categories. vegans, musicians, artists--listen up now. I eat meat. I like to listen to Rihanna. and chances are my art or knowledge of art is nothing short of unimpressive.

Last night was pretty sweet on Mary Murphy's Hot Tamale scale. I bum a cigarette from this psuedo cute boy and when i ask him for a light, he says, 'i don't have one. that's why i gave you one! what are you good for?' I, of course, see this as a challenge and decide I will not fail this unremarkable boy and go on my mission. after a few minutes, i find a light and present it to him. I am a gem, i tell him. he says--no, quotes--"you have such a luscious....assss." ha! that is the first time i ever gotten that compliment. to let you know, i do not have a luscious rump but the fact that someone thought so--well hot damn. that's great. he then also to lick his lips and mumble off some other great assets i have. we then decided we were done with this boy. but really, the highlight of my night is when I walked up the stairs to the bar and at the top step--a cute boy took my face in his hands kissed both cheeks then looked me in the eyes and said, "you are beautiful." i don't get many nights like this. and it's nights like this that makes me like boys again. so unpredictable and sweet and sleazy.

so whatever. in conclusion. i am not stuck up. i don't have high standards. i just want...a person with a few good lines. some... long-term plans. some wit. and a job.
really. it's not that hard.

chelsea 'big booty' brown